Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
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