can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
