I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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