like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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