If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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