but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
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Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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