Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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