I feel like I'm in dance class right now
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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