would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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