idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
