everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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