You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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