yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
this boner is exhausting
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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