I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
