In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
