did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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