Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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