I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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