I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
