i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
