Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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