we're chasing vodka with high fives
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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