Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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