I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize