He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
