broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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