So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
