drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
