Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
