You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
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She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
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I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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