How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
