u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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