need another drink. this is the easiest way
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
People in love make me want to vomit
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
