would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
