i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
