Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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