yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
