i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
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Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
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He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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