I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
