Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
