I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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