OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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