I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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