Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
