We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
