Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
cat food counts as protein by the way
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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