so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Bring me that man meat
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
