they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
