i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
