you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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