People in love make me want to vomit
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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