i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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