What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
