The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
