this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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