Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize