Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
