You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
