No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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