You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Someone signed my nipple.
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