the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So many bounce houses so little time
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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