Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
