How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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